Instead he wielded power and control through intimidation and fear.

At first, survivor Jessica* didn’t recognise the violence her intimate partner was committing against her.

“He wasn't hitting me … or being physical, so even I didn't acknowledge that as violence at first,” she said.

Now 25, Jessica can clearly see the pattern of control which went largely ignored by her rural community, and, alarmingly, by police.

They had been dating for eight months when she fell pregnant. He expected her to quit her nursing studies and move several hours to his town where she knew no one – which she did.

His violent tendencies rose to the surface after she had the baby.

He would take her pram so she couldn’t go for a walk with her son; he would take her wallet or her car without telling her; he would snap the key in the lock so she and the baby couldn’t get into the house.

“I was stuck – I couldn't leave because he had me convinced he was going to get custody, but I couldn't stay because I didn't want my son to grow up in that family,” she said.

When Jessica decided to leave him, “that’s when it got a whole lot worse”.

“He was showing up in places that he shouldn't have been and he shouldn't have known where I was,” she said. “I actually went and got my car checked over because I thought there was a tracking device in there.” 

The violence escalated one day as she was driving to meet him with her son near a park. He and three of his friends jumped out of the bushes and started grabbing things from her car, throwing them to the ground.

His family members also started abusing her verbally.

With her babe in arms, she picked up the pieces from the roadside while they threw her belongings out.

“The police didn't come. They were called three times,” she said.

“Eventually that night I went into the station and I got a female police officer, who took out the intervention order straight away.”

When Jessica first confided and sought help in the wake of his controlling behaviour, she was not believed.

“Some people would come up to me and blatantly say… ‘I can't believe you've done this to him’,” she said.

Now Jessica has returned to study with a renewed passion and purpose for helping women in violent situations like her own.