Even tiny ones need surprises. And to be honest, I've spent 40 years doing my very best to surprise my beloved each year. I can't tell you how hard that is when you share one bank account and sit down each week to discuss expenditure. Mind you, it has stopped fights about money.

So it breaks my heart to say this - actually breaks my heart - but I think we will have to cancel Christmas. Yep. All over, tinsel rover. Cancel it now before it wreaks havoc on Australian wellbeing.

Yes, I know, we've cancelled two Christmases already. COVID Christmas one, December 25, 2020. I've forgotten what rules we had in place but pretty sure we were forced outdoors on picnic blankets. Nightmare. I am a person who has only been celebrating Christmas since the early 80s but I have thrown myself into it. It is not a picnic blanket day. It is a soft chairs and accessible fridges and kettle boiling at the end of the day kind of day. It is a lying-down-on-sofas-eventually kind of day.

COVID Christmas two. December 25, 2021. Same. Pretty sure it was against the rules to take in any Christmas orphans. Same same, all the windows and doors open. RAT test in the morning, RAT test in the evening, RAT test at suppertime.

But at least we still had consumer madness to comfort us. Remember those days before out-of-control inflation? Remember when we had savings? Remember when about the only excitement was the delivery van driver texting from the street the groceries were about to be delivered?

Despite my love of giving, receiving and eating too much in the company of my family, I still think we need to cancel. There are two reasons. We must save Australia from a recession. We want to avoid the spread of COVID.

I called the most high-profile economist in the land for advice, the woman the new government called on to give the opening address at the Jobs and Skills Summit - Danielle Wood, head of the Grattan Institute. She says her mother-in-law has the same grandmotherly desire to spoil her kid absolutely rotten.

But it's a bad idea. Strong consumer demand (aka known as Christmas splurging) plays a role so if we peddled back on spending, we would be doing exactly what the Reserve Bank of Australia wants us to do. We would tighten our belts. Buying one good thing instead of many good things would also ease the pressure on demand from the sectors struggling to meet our desire to binge. As Wood says, don't spend to save the country. If there is less demand, the price of goods will come down. The wages of the people who make those goods or supply those services won't have to deal with the rising cost of Christmas crackers or prawns.

Now my grandma heart goes, "noooooo". And my natural response to anyone who earns a million bucks a year (hello, Philip Lowe) who tells the rest of us to tighten our belts is unprintable in a family paper but I get the underlying message. This squeeze between rocketing inflation and slow wage growth could all be over a lot more quickly if we FHB*.

But don't FHB* on the other thing which might save Christmas. Get boosted. Yeah, yeah. We know. We've all had enough of the whole COVID thing. Me too. And actually having it, as I did in January this year, really gets you to the point of having enough of COVID. It sucks. So Nancy Noel Baxter (yes, that's the real name of the University of Melbourne's head of the school of population and global health) tells me if we don't want to cancel Christmas, we should get whatever we haven't had: third shot, fourth shot, fifth shot where advised.

READ MORE JENNA PRICE:

For her first real Christmas in three years, she is off to to celebrate with her family in Canada. Baxter (middle name Noel because she was born on Christmas Day) advises everyone to get boosted in the month before Christmas. Sure, that's really excellent advice (although I swear to God I am having trouble with some of my mates who seem to think they are too busy to avoid getting sick. Kill me.)

But her other advice is also great. Baxter tells me not to invite COVID to Christmas events and to constantly calculate how much risk we are prepared to take. Think of the people who might be high risk, like grandparents (oh hello, I am grandparents). Eat outdoors (sigh). Open doors and windows. Consider the Christmas events you might attend. Where are they? Who is going? Are you confident they will have done their best to avoid spicy coughs, aches and pains, the exhaustion of this particular version of the coronavirus? Wear masks where possible.

If you have symptoms, don't go to Christmas or attendant events. You can always get a family member to drop your portion of the plum pudding at the door.

No shouting (it spreads the droplets). No singing (it also spreads the droplets). What kind of Christmas can this be? Surely it's just easier to call the whole thing off?

Baxter, who I will now call Noel for the rest of my days because it's gorgeous, talks me down from calling off Christmas this year.

What's it worth to you in terms of risk? Reduce it where you can.

You've got to live, she says. Ok. One month from today and counting. Masks on. Breathe out. And don't buy too many presents (except for the grandkids).

*Family Hold Back