If rumour is true, there are 18 shots in a bottle of whiskey. Hence, 18 nips to brace yourself for each onslaught and the game is done. This may well explain some of the more bizarre rules of the game, most of which were likely invented around hole 16, 17 or 18.
As I drove home recently, I noticed some of the signs we have erected since the dreaded number 19. These placards emblazoned with regulations and suggestions put in place by the government and Golf Australia. All of which are designed with common sense in mind to protect all golfers from the dangers surrounding a problem we'd all like to forget.
Reporting your whereabouts, wearing a mask and no canoodling on course. All pretty standard stuff for the middle of a pandemic you could argue. Early days, these warnings were enough to get you sweating like a pet turkey on Christmas eve and believing your next errant sneeze would have you alerting your next of kin. Move forward six months and we're now quasi viral experts and golf in COVID life has us moving like a well-oiled, socially distanced machine. The system works.
This all got me thinking about some of the actual rules of golf we still use in the game today; some that have been in play for centuries. Regulations such as, if your ball is buried in a bunker and you dig a hole to physically identify it, you must return all the sand exactly as you found it before you can play on. Or, if your ball ends up inside the clubhouse and it is not deemed out of bounds, you can open a window or door and play through. Both sound and logical rules to adhere to. Nothing to see here! Just some staggering random, full of 18 shots of whisky, hitting their ball straight through the middle of your Beaujolais and Beef Wellington. Excellent. Makes wearing a face mask seem almost irrelevant really.
It was golf in 4s on Saturday. Brad McLean showed strong form again winning A Grade, with Trevor Greenberger and Matt Hatfield taking the honours in B and C Grade respectively. Former Women's Club Champion Tania Dalton finished on 37 points, two points ahead of runner-up Sue Holcombe.
This week we see visitors and green fee players, with active golf link numbers, returning to the course from Friday, October 2. The fairways have been mowed, the greens rolled and the whiskey? The last guy who played through the clubhouse finished that.