Founding chair of Our Watch Natasha Stott Despoja has spoken about the issue of domestic violence, six months after the death of Brisbane mum Hannah Clarke and her three children.

They were killed by her estranged husband after he set their car on fire, and he died shortly after from self-inflicted injuries.

Ms Stott Despoja admits creating coercive control laws is difficult, noting the Australian Law Reform Commission recommended against them in 2010.

Definitions must be clearly set out so there's clarity on what's considered unpleasant behaviour compared to psychological abuse, she says.

Ms Stott Despoja is also worried about such laws being used against victims.

"These are difficult, complex issues, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't be grappling with it," she told the National Press Club on Wednesday.

"It's time. It's time to have these discussions; 2010 is a long time ago."

The former Australian Democrats leader pointed to "world-leading" domestic abuse laws in Scotland that could help guide the way.

"I think that the Clarke family have given us impetus to re-examine this issue now," Ms Stott Despoja said.

She used the speech to relay statistics on the "ongoing scourge", of one woman killed each week and police dealing with a family violence issue every two minutes.

"How could we not be haunted by this violence, Australia?"

The former South Australian senator said domestic violence had spiked since the start of the pandemic, with violence against women and children a "shadow pandemic" to the coronavirus crises.

Ms Stott Despoja called for a focus on primary prevention and not using gender stereotypes.

"There is a common misconception that drugs or alcohol or mental health or poverty are to blame for this violence, but the evidence says that while the factors can compound or intensify this violence, taking drugs or alcohol or being poor does not cause this," she said.

"We know that the best way to end the violence is to stop it from happening in the first place - this is primary prevention."

Ms Stott Despoja also criticised Bachelor in Paradise reality TV star Ciarran Stott for telling another contestant he had to have his permission before dating his ex-girlfriend.

"(That) is some sort of perverse bro-code, you cannot underestimate the potential message that sends to young people and risks endorsing outdated stereotypes."

1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

Lifeline 13 11 14

Australian Associated Press