GRIEF is pain, loss and even fear all wrapped in together in one feeling that seems as if it will last forever. It can feel as if there is no path available from this dark place.
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But grief is also like a marker for a place in a map of time. It represents when we have lost someone we cannot live without. Our hearts break and never completely re-heal.
Realising this is a moment when the tide begins to turn. By realising our hearts will never be the same, we also realise the person we lost will live forever in our broken hearts that will never mend.
Life is precious, even without that person in it.
By speaking to others who have come through grief, others that have stood in this place in time brings hope. If they can come through it, surely we can too? The impossible seems possible again.
This week hearts are broken and breaking in Allansford after the death of 16-year-old Sam Chilton.
Allansford has in the past and will again show what is intrinsically true of the people of the south-west.
After the shock and the tears, they are rallying around each other. Quietly, proudly and strongly. Families will reach out to other families. Stories both funny and sad will be shared. Maybe a beer or two will be had. Meals will be made, strength will be shared, support will be offered and given.
The people of Allansford will suffer together and will, over time, continue to go about their lives playing cricket and footy, making the kids lunches, attending to the intricacies of life that define who and what we are.
We may all wonder what mark we leave on this place as we pass through. That by being busy working, raising families and paying bills, are we failing to live up to our potential?
These reflections are natural and unhelpful. Simply by knowing each other, by helping each other when the chips are down, by sharing the grief and the joy we make the essential contribution to life and each other.
And that is what really matters.
RIP Sam.