“I can understand that I might come across a certain way but people don’t know what’s going on inside,” he said. “People don’t know what goes on behind other people’s closed doors.”

In September, with the support of CrossFit Warrnambool owner Dionne Goyen, he posted some of his experiences with depression as part of R U OK? Day on the Warrnambool CrossFit Facebook page to let other people know they weren’t alone. He said he was overwhelmed and humbled by the response and support he received as a result.

“I was probably nervous about putting it up but I think we’re in the day and age where people understand there’s a lot of it out there and it needs to be spoken about,” he said. “I felt it was about time to put the sh*t that I’ve been through to good use, to a positive use, not just for everyone out there but for me as well.”

Detective Sergeant Wheatley is the Unit Commander of the Warrnambool Sex Offence and Child Abuse Investigation Team (SOCIT). He joined the force at 21 and has been a police officer for 22 years.

He said he was diagnosed with depression at 24 which was near the time his first child was born.

Detective Sergeant Wheatley said since his diagnosis he had suffered two breakdowns, including one earlier this year.

“I had a marriage break down five years ago and that heavily impacted me, the last five years have probably been the most difficult time,” he said. “I’ve been living alone with part-time access to the kids which is no different to a lot of separated people… but I’ve found that hard to deal with.

“Then when you combine that with the cumulative trauma that you experience with Victoria Police. I think the combination of work and home, that probably increased the severity of the depression and added bouts of anxiety to it.

“I had thought, like a lot of people do, that I had been traveling well for the last 18 months and in January I started to not feel like myself or focus on things I shouldn’t be focusing on... and things that I enjoyed I was slowly letting go of.

“The triggers that I recognised I probably ignored, I probably just buried myself in work… and by ignoring all those things they all just built up.”

Detective Sergeant Wheatley went on annual leave in June and went from operating at a high level of hyper vigilance to stopping work abruptly. “I went from that high level to low and then crashed,” he said.

“I had a heap of sick leave up my sleeve and I decided it’s probably time I take a step back and focus on myself for a change.”

He said speaking openly about his challenges and seeking support had taken a lot of strength. “It’s not in my nature to ask for help,” he said. “Asking for help and being open about my battles was the best thing I could’ve done. The support I received from family, friends, colleagues and Victoria Police was critical in taking control of mental health. I want to put it out there to people fighting the battle, that they don’t have to wait for someone to ask are you OK. If you are not OK and need help, then speak to a loved one or friends, or anyone that you trust. This is taking control of your mental health and you won’t regret it.”

After the six weeks away from the job he felt like he’d made all the improvements he could and was in a good place to return to work.

“Not every day is a good day but it’s just about riding it out,” he said.

He said working in the SOCIT unit meant police were often exposed to traumatic events and the team there supported each other through those difficult times.

“We find it very easy to debrief as a team and support each other because we understand what we’re going through,” he said.

“The hardest thing I find and the things that stays with me the longest is delivering death messages and dealing with the trauma of victims of sexual assault and family violence. I find that’s the real emotional side of life and that’s what I find the hardest part of my job. It’s a cumulative thing. It changes who you are as a person.”

For Detective Sergeant Wheatley an important way of taking care of his mental health has been through exercise and seeking help from his GP.

“Fitness has always been my most important tool as far as managing my health,” he said. “While I was on leave I exercised quite a lot and I enrolled to do some online study of certificate three and four in fitness.

“It’s given me some focus outside of work and I hope it might lead to some part time work down the track. CrossFit was my safe place to go and chance to indulge my passion. I use music a lot.

“I try to get out of the house more which is easier now the weather is getting better and finding a spot to have 10 minutes on my own and just think.

“I know it’s part of who I am. It’s just up to me to manage it, I can manage it through medication but that’s sort of only 40 or 50 per cent of the battle. The rest of it is up to me and having certain things in place and just being able to recognise when things go down.

“I’ve experienced suicides, attempted suicides and self harm in my personal life with friends and family and it really does break my heart when you’ve seen people who’ve committed suicide because it didn’t have to go that way.”

He said he now hoped to use his experience to support others in the community. 

If you or someone you know needs help call Lifeline on 131 114.