Simon Angel says although it’s not easy to talk about his mental health struggles, he knows it will be worth it if he can reach just one person in trouble.
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The personal trainer has experienced depression throughout his life, stemming in part from a period during his teenage years when his older brother committed suicide and his grandpa, a close father figure, died.
Losing two important people was difficult for Mr Angel to cope with, and he developed self-destructive behaviour and depression he grappled with on and off. A few years ago, it came to a head.
“I made an attempt on my own life, which failed, thankfully,” Mr Angel said. “That was probably the turning point.”
Mr Angel said although he did relapse, turning to alcohol and gambling, he tried everything he could to get better – “both healthy and unhealthy”.
Eventually, and with support from his mum and his other brother, he got into a better place, becoming involved in football, getting his beloved dog Tazi, and meeting his partner, Amy Thompson, who he got engaged to in January.
Mr Angel also got involved with the mentoring program Standing Tall. He said learning to take responsibility for his mental illness and the experience of losing his brother helped him.
“The hardest thing when you lose someone to suicide is the ‘what if?’ factor,” he said. “I was in my teens when I lost Paul, and it’s a long time to ask ‘what if?’ for. There wouldn’t be a day that goes past that I don’t think about it.”
Mr Angel said when he was depressed, he felt worthless and like the hole couldn’t get any deeper. He said if anyone felt that way, they should know things would get better.
“I look at and if I had have been successful in my attempt, I would have missed some pretty amazing things,” he said. “My brother got married, I met Amy, bought my first house and got my dogs.”
“There are so many things that have happened since, in such a short period of time, so I can only imagine what’s going to happen over the next 20, 30, 40 years.”
Mr Angel decided to speak up as part of the Let’s Talk inititative, which aims to reduce mental health stigma.
If you or someone you know is experiencing an emotional crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.