Related: Isolating those vulnerable

Annette Kelson has become a bystander to dementia that is slowly stealing her parents. 

Despite the support she has received, she says there is a need for an increased understanding of the disease.

“Unless you’ve been through it, you can’t understand what it’s like to watch someone change before your eyes,” she said.

“But it’s not the end of the world.”

Annette said her parents had their good and bad days. 

“Sometimes Dad’s cheekiness comes out,” she said.

Annette’s mother, Anne Duynhoven, moved from Holland with her husband John in 1953. 

“I had to learn everything in English,” Mrs Duynhoven said. “It was so hard.”

Together they raised a family of five on a farm at Scott’s Creek before retiring to Cobden in 2006.

Mr Duynhoven’s dementia diagnosis came just before his wife and after time they were placed in the care of Mercy Place.  

“I don’t think people really understand the full depth of it,” Annette said. 

“Going in to care is definitely an individual thing and it’s not easy.”

Annette said it had been a distressing time.

“One night dad came out in tears and said he was afraid to be alone because he didn’t know what was real,” Annette said.

“It’s so hard… you’re already grieving because they’re not who you knew.”

Annette said the work of the aged care facility had been fantastic in keeping her parents together, safe and content.