IN Carolyn Howe’s work there are days when the women she helps can’t see her through their gouged and blackened eyes.
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“They only know my voice, they don’t know what I look like ... it’s horrible,” the Warrnambool-based lawyer said.
“You don’t think it’s in your own back yard but it most definitely is.”
On the darkest days she sees the devastating impact of a family dealing with the ultimate cost of family violence - the death of a woman.
Ms Howe, a solicitor, has worked at Emma House Domestic Violence Service since August 2012.
Her work is separate from the casework and welfare side of Emma House and she provides legal advice to women and children affected by family violence.
She is also the family violence duty lawyer funded through Victoria Legal Aid.
Her work day can range from acting as a duty lawyer in family violence matters, to child protection, family law matters and sitting in a tribunal dealing with the victims of crime.
Her clients come from across the south-west - Warrnambool, Portland, Hamilton and Corangamite regions.
Ms Howe said when she started at Emma House her understanding of family violence was quite general but she soon learnt about the breadth of the epidemic gripping the country.
“When you sit and listen to the women who come through this service you see how they were systematically isolated - financially, socially, the physical abuse and psychological abuse, that constant belittling so that they give up all their self-confidence and aren’t game to make simple decisions - I didn’t understand the breadth of family violence,” she said.
“Some days are sad. You meet women who are so battered, both physically and emotionally and who have no faith in themselves.
“They don’t have the capacity to provide basic care for themselves because life has just knocked them down so far that they’ve turned to alcohol or drugs and they’ve just given up.
“So they’ve got a really long road to go to get back to being a really confident person who can control their own life and not be told by others what to do.”
Despite some opinions that intervention orders don’t work, Ms Howe said in 90 per cent of cases orders achieved their goal.
“They’re the circuit breaker and they help the women and the children be protected and backed up by police,” she said.
Ms Howe said for fundamental change and a reduction in family violence there needed to be prevention and more safe places for women and children.
“You’ve got women and kids sleeping in cars because there’s not enough housing available and then it’s just easier to go back,” she said.
Ms Howe said an education campaign similar to the .05 drink driving push was needed to change community attitudes.
"We taught our kids you don’t drink and drive so the next generation grew up knowing to put your seatbelt on and not to drink and drive,” she said.
“Now it’s a definite no-no in society. We need to educate children about family violence and that it’s not acceptable.”
Ms Howe said one of her grave concerns was that a generation of children were growing up in the midst of family violence.
“We’ve got this generation of kids who are stuck in the middle of it through no fault of their own,” she said. “We’ve got to learn to identify that more and protect those kids. It’s the ultimate control on the woman.
“The ultimate threat is ‘if you don’t do what I tell you to do, the kids will get hurt, the kids will suffer or you will never see these kids again’.”
For Timboon’s Charlene Payne the threat that her children would be hurt if she left her husband was a burden she lived with for many years.
She and her two children have safety plans in place if her husband should turn up.
In 2012 Ms Payne came into contact with Ms Howe when she sought an intervention order.
After the violence and threats, Ms Howe helped restore some self-belief and a safer life.
“As soon as I met her I felt safe, believed and I trusted her with every part of my being,” Ms Payne said.
“From the minute I met Carolyn she was a dog with a bone and she wouldn’t let it go. If it hadn’t been for her I don’t think I would be sitting here. I wouldn’t be the woman I am now.”
Ms Howe said the work she did came with threats and intimidation from the family violence perpetrators but at the end of the day they were bullies who didn’t like it when people stood up to them.
“I’ve been threatened several times and probably in three or four years I’ve had two that I’ve genuinely had a concern about,” she said.
“One was a man not long out of prison for attempted murder. He was coming to the court to do whatever he needed to do for me to say where she was.
“I don’t know where any refuge is, I don’t have any involvement with that.
“Recently we had a gentleman armed and looking for his partner, he had seen me in court and knew I was assisting her and he was looking for me.
“I’ve got the back-up of the police who I work really closely with.”
Police prosecutor senior sergeant Sandra Skilton said Ms Howe’s work with victims of family violence was invaluable, particularly her assistance in police-initiated intervention orders.
She said Ms Howe’s work ensured about 95 per cent of intervention order cases were resolved.
“We’re pretty realistic and at the end of the day we’re here to protect victims and children,” she said.
“She’s very understanding but also pragmatic. She can explain the choices people have and what they can do.
“She knows the system and can explain it. The days she’s not there makes our life hell.”
With one woman killed in Australia at the hands of her current or former partner each week, Ms Howe said there remained a lot of work to be done.
“I see myself doing family violence work for a long time,” she said.
“I don’t think we’re stemming the tide at the moment. I think the level of family violence is escalating.”
Ms Howe said the prevalence of the drug ice meant family violence incidents were increasing and the violence escalating.
She said filicide, where children were killed in family violence, was increasing.
“It’s huge, the number of kids being killed,” she said.
“We’re seeing it much more often on the news. Kids being horrifically harmed or killed in the midst of family dispute or family violence.
“They’re the quiet sufferers. Somebody has to give them attention and soon.”
For Ms Howe, the good days at work come when she sees the change in women who have been downtrodden and eventually stand up, saying enough is enough.
“They’ve got the courage to say ‘this is what happened to me and this is not right’. ‘I’m not going back to that relationship and I’m going to protect my children’,” she said.
“They’re the reason you do the job.
“You sit back and you watch them progress and see them getting more and more confident and see them starting to stand up for themselves.
“They stop minimising the violence. They stop excusing the perpetrator.
“The good days are when you see those women who have been really knocked about, physically and emotionally and they stand up.”
The Emma House legal service is funded until July 2017 and is available to all victims of family violence.
Anyone in immediate danger should contact triple-zero
If you need help contact: Emma House on 5561 1934, Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service on 1800 015 188, Men’s Referral Service on 1800 065 973 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800