Both say that we need to know the system, and use the rules, to do dying and death in our own way.

Both agree that to understand our  values, and to realise before the dying phase  what is really important to us, the advice of Umberto Eco, an Italian ethicist, should be taken seriously: “Meditate early and often on the art of dying, so that in the end you do it properly, just once.”

Currently health professionals seem to control the dying period, while the funeral industry moves in immediately after death. The wishes of the individual, and their family, often remain unknown as the crisis occurs, and then it is all too late.

Preparedness to be actively involved in the dying process is more likely to happen when it is understood that “dying is a social event with medical components, rather than the commonly held converse view”. There are measures to take which give people more control than they realise. 

Wishes about medical treatment wanted, and not wanted, can be expressed through the Advance Care Planning Process.

 After death, it is the family that is in charge of the body of the deceased. It is up to them to ask the funeral director to undertake the responsibility of caring for the body.  Prior to burial or cremation, (the usual methods of dealing with the deceased body), there is a lot that the family can do for themselves, positively affecting feelings of grief, (and in the process probably saving unnecessary expenses).

The Groundswell Project, whose mission is to create cultural change about death and dying, have identified 10 things everyone needs to know about death. Workshops are being run to expand upon these facts.

1. Less than 10 per cent have an end of life plan,

2. Forty-five per cent will die without a will.

3. Of those who know they are dying, only 25 per cent have spoken about their wishes.

4. Seventy per cent of deaths are expected.

5. Doctors die differently.

6. Early palliative care leads to significant improvements in both quality of life, and mood.

7. Almost half of us would like to know more about DIY funerals.

8. Sixty per cent choose cremation.

9. We don’t grieve in stages, and 90 per cent of us don’t need professional support after death.

10. Sixty per cent think we don’t talk about death enough.

In Warrnambool, Palliative Care: ‘The Doing-it-in-Style Kit’, has been developed to help in the  preparation for this period of our lives. It has ten steps to consider, and these are as follows: 

1. Understand as much as you can about your illness, and what to expect later.

2. Be organised.

3. Complete an Advance Care Plan.

4. Make opportunities to resolve unfinished business.

5. Live as well as you can.

6. Learn about meditation and mindfulness.

7. Record your story in a life review.

8. Put legal and financial matters in order, particularly a will.

9. Plan a funeral

10. Make use of available resources.

The Hospice in the Home program of the Warrnambool & District Community Hospice Inc. is now up and running, providing people who are dying with the option of compassionate care in their own home settings. 

To make the most of this service, community workshops are being considered for 2016 to help interested people discuss ten things to know, and ten steps to take.

Knowledge is needed to be able to negotiate the current systems, and to plan early and effectively for death and dying.  

To express your interest, please leave a message on 5563 3220 with your name and contact details, or write to WDC Hospice PO Box 755 Warrnambool 3280.