TA: One of the leading stock and station agents in the south-west recently ran into a little bit of trouble with his car.
AT: More details. You know you have to name names.
TA: One Anthony "Ants" Mahony from Brian O'Halloran's. Appears Ants drove his car into Callaghan Motors early one morning and explained to salesman John Parkinson that he was heading out of town for the day and needed some urgent work done. He said there were problems with the lights and electrical issues. Parky told Ants the people that fix those sorts of problems would start work in about 15 minutes but Parky decided to have a quick look to see if he could sort out the problems. Parky just walked around the car a couple of times before it got the better of Ants and he asked what was wrong. Parky said he had no idea and suggested Ants take the vehicle to Norton Ford to sort it out.
AT: Ants must have forgotten he now drives a Ford after years of driving Holdens. I've got an interesting yarn on one of Ants' mates - former Cobden star footballer Stephen "Trunk" Hammond.
TA: Trunk has a palatial holiday residence in Port Fairy near the Gardens Oval Caravan Park.
AT: And that's where our story starts. Trunk and his former Cobden premiership teammate Wayne Walsh were downing a few frothies in the carport while their lovely wives were inside putting kids to bed. The two mates were talking a bit of rubbish - which is allowed to happen when you're on holidays. The next minute this bloke's walked past heading into the caravan park and they invited him to come in for a drink. The well-spoken gent declined the initial offer but the boys insisted he join them. The gent ended up walking into the carport and had a refreshing beverage. After a few minutes the two mates thought the bloke looked familiar and they realised he was singer/song writer Mike Brady who penned Up There Cazaly. They encouraged Brady to sing his famous song and the boys unfortunately chimed in as back-up singers. After a few more beers Trunk and Walshie were joining Brady singing other songs before the eventful night finished with Brady singing a song about Port Fairy.
TA: Talking about Port Fairy, it appears the rivalry between Warrnambool and Port Fairy is still extremely keen.
AT: What do you mean keen?
TA: Four keen Port Fairy golfers ventured over to Warrnambool last Saturday to hit around the little white balls. They were at the 16th hole getting ready to putt when a ball from another fairway nearly hit one of the former champion Port Fairy footballers. The Port Fairy group could only stare at the culprit as he made his way out of the bushes.
AT: Did he scream out "fore!" or apologise for his miss-hit?
TA: Story goes that golf etiquette went completely out the window. The Port Fairy group was that filthy they were spotted downing a few beers at the Shamrock Hotel trying to settle down.
AT: Talking of golf, I'm dusting off the clubs.
TA: Well a few of your mates have been wondering just how long you could stay away from unleashing those booming drives.
AT: It's all for a good cause. I'm gearing up for the Port Fairy Police and Community Charity Golf Day on March 22 with all proceeds going to the Port Fairy Men's Shed project. The day starts at 11am with a barbecue lunch. Cost is $35 which includes lunch, green fees and dinner for the four-man ambrose event. And there's transport available from the course to Warrnambool and Port Fairy.
TA: I hear that Peter Clancy is just back from an eventful trip to see superstar cyclist Lance Armstrong compete in the South Australian Tour Down Under. Pete took the family and one of the highlights was a dinner with the Tour de France winner.
AT: Great to see Warrnambool Primary School teacher John Pattison is broadening his horizons from just junior cricket and is now taking on swimming lessons. I understand talented young Woolsthorpe quick Connor Richardson has been the beneficiary of Patto's expert tutelage after being dragged out of the surf while on tour in Melbourne for the Victorian under 14 cricket titles.
TA: Any other gossip?
AT: It was noticed that former sprintcar racing wild child Garry Brazier was sporting a black eye early in the week after a chat turned physical with another regular feature winner. I understand that the sprintcar drivers may have pushed the limits of the golf carts at the Warrnambool Golf Course but the club was delighted with the boys' behaviour and will be more than happy to have them back in future. West Gambier is less than delighted that 40 per cent of its $10,000 Sungold Cup win will go to the Mount Gambier Cricket Association. Apparently there is a clause in the association's constitution which means that 40 per cent of all wins go to the association coffers. The other big winner on Australia Day was Clinton Baulch who put up a $25,000 ute but was unable to secure insurance and if a batsman hit his Nissan sign the car dealer would have had to foot the bill out of his own pocket.
Until next week, hooroo.
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