Man, I thought these nut-jobs only existed in documentaries; I didn't know they were real and stuff. As I watch regular updates and interviews on the US election, I, as a young Australian (you know, leader of tomorrow, future of the country, most precious resource, future pensioner, etc), am freaking out. Our 'closest ally' seems to be going backwards, despite the fact that it really is very clearly the 21st Century. I mean, we've got calendars and everything now; we don't need the suffocatingly conservative mantras of Palin or McCain, or of Howard or Abbot or Ruddock, for that matter.

Yet here we are, with Sarah Louise Heath Palin as the potential 44th President of the USA and with me trying not to scoff at every YouTube video I watch of her. In the kingdom of America, these flamboyant caricatures just keep getting a real look-in as people try to make the very important decision as to who will represent them and lead their country.

Exhibit B: Alan Keyes***, the Republican nominee and Barack Obama's opponent in the 2004 Illinois Senate election. This guy is Tom Cruise-crazy. Keyes compares the income tax to a slave wage, describes gay sex as "selfish hedonism", denies the existence of a separation between church and state, believes that safe sex education programs could bring about an HIV crisis in America similar to that in Africa, talks with his hands in a funny way and really, really likes the word "morals". Obama could have leant back in his chair, sucked on a big ol' Cuban cigar and punched a kitten during the televised debates with this guy and Obama still would have looked like the better option.

But policies aside, here’s my real beef with the likes of Palin and Keyes: I'm worried that her platform, her appeal to a certain section of American society and her partiality for folksy expressions (“doggone it”, “bless their hearts”, “darn right”, “you betcha”) are indicative of a scary trend in modern politics. A trend where averageness and the quotidian**** are lauded as highly-valued traits in a leader. A trend where voters want a representative who is just like them (and not like one of those bloody fancy-pants so-and-so’s on Capitol Hill who don’t even know the price of bread and milk these days). It seems people want candidates who are ‘normal’ and ‘real’; being an Average Joe who ‘understands Middle America’ seems to rate higher than decades of experience in the legislature. Our need to see ourselves reflected in our leaders sees the Palins and Bushes and Hansons of this world praised as no-nonsense, ‘straight-talking’ mavericks, when in fact they’re simply misinformed and inarticulate like us.

I recently came across a cartoon that summarizes this political pessimism perfectly. It depicts an ecstatic Sarah Palin leaping over a high jump bar that has been dropped to the lowest possible peg; a hairy, overweight yahoo cheering from the sidelines, a six-pack by his side. It’s like a still shot from the Lowest Common Denominator Olympics.

So why? Why do we set our standards so low when it comes to the highest offices in the land? Is our tall poppy syndrome so severe that we've grown to mistrust intellectualism and detailed thought? Are we beginning to use the term "high-falutin'" without irony?

The reason I find President Josiah Barlett in the stunning American drama The West Wing so inspiring is because he makes me want to be better than I am. He is dedicated to serving his constituents, but he also expects something of the American people and demands that the nation constantly strive to be better than it is. It's true of all great figures of our time; Dr. Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, Rosa Parks, Richard Dawkins, Hugh Evans, Bob Brown, Oprah Winfrey - they all inspire us to set our sights higher and they make it impossible for us to stop trying to improve our countries and ourselves.

I want people who are smarter and funnier and more eloquent and more passionate than I am in the White House and in Canberra. And I also want people who make me want to be smarter and funnier and more eloquent and more passionate than I am. They should raise the bar, not pull it down and prance over it with a chipper, righteous attitude.

Sarah Palin is an idiot, but I can't help feeling that she wouldn't be even vaguely considered as any kind of possible candidate for Vice President if we all - both Americans and Australians alike - demanded a little bit more of political figures and of ourselves. I've heard people remark "I'm not really into politics" in the same tone of voice you might say "I don't really like the new Kings of Leon album". Our apathy and our dismissal of the role we have to play in elections and in public debate has devastating results; namely, the candidacy of a small-minded, regressive fundamentalist in the place of someone who could have quite possibly lifted the levels of debate, campaigning and public confidence in elected officials.

You'd have to know you're not doing great when the best thing you bring to a campaign is your potential to be impersonated really well on Saturday Night Live.

In conclusion*****, I'm nervous. Ironically, I've decided that if Sarah Palin is elected to the office of VP, I will immediately adopt a Republican perspective on the influence government should have over our lives. You'll find me holed up in a cave somewhere, my black, atheistic husband by my side as I furiously draw diagrams of evolution on the back of recycled copies of Roe v. Wade.

And no one wants that.

Not even my black, atheistic husband, to be honest.

Barack Obama deserves to win this election. He is a role model, a unifier and a man who makes us believe that we can all be better than we are. He doesn't talk down to us; rather, he respects us enough to demand that we be the best we can be. Moreover, I think Joe Biden is an experienced, respected politician who believes in bipartisanship and in the responsibilities of governance.

At the thought of a loss for the Democrats in the 2008 presidential election, I can feel myself turning a whiter shade of Palin******.

FOOTNOTES :

*Hello.

**At least as good as "Kevin '07".

***Funny name, when you think about it.

****Thank you, Year 12 Literature.

*****Thank you, Year 12 English.

******Sorry.