Of course, walking around in the birthday suit in the privacy of your own home – your own, lonely, cold home… – is one thing, but bringing that shit out into the open is another one entirely. Spencer Tunick is an incredible artist who takes photos of thousands of people in the buff posing in public spaces. In March, as part of Sydney Mardi Gras, he’ll be a taking a photo of thousands of subjects on the steps of the Opera House.

I’ve registered to take part.

I don’t know why it interests me so much. I think it’s the thrilling, giddy pointlessness of it all. The idea of thousands of people getting their tackle out on the steps of a national monument for no other reason other than they can excites me more than the thought of Tony Abbott in Speedos. That sense of freedom, of letting go, of making my pubic public just seems...well, refreshingly care-free.

And it seems like a more socially acceptable option than flashing strangers in the Target car park.

The 2010 Tom Ballard Naked Fest doesn’t stop there. If everything goes according to plan, at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival, I’ll be performing in a line-up charity show featuring the best comedians in the country... naked. Or, as some African-Americans might say, "Neck-ed.

The show is going to be a fundraiser for the Eating Disorder Association of Victoria, a very worthy organisation that deals extensively with people who care a lot about what they look like in the nude. When I mention this idea to people, their reactions vary from horror to fear to concern about my mental health. The idea of going on stage in front of strangers to tell jokes is horrifying enough for most, but add the thought of having one’s bits on show and you might as well be describing how heartily you laughed as you mercilessly slaughtered Keyboard Cat.

Almost everyone I’ve mentioned the idea to has raised the idea of some kind of compromise: "Couldn’t they all just be in their underwear?". "Can’t they just cover themselves up with their hands?". "Do they really have to be naked?”

I remain adamant in the face of resistance. The idea behind the show is to face our crippling shame and look it right in its naked, stretch-mark-ridden eye. Comedians are very good at being honest and making everyone feel better about feeling petty about things, so I consider them the perfect spokespeople for the cause. Yes, it will be horribly confronting, yes, it will be uncomfortable and yes, there will be jiggly love-handles...but it will also be bloody funny. And, I expect, a great relief.

I ask you, o reader, to do me two favours. Firstly, be naked more often. It’s a right laugh. Secondly, if you’re going to be in Sydney in March or if you have friends or relatives in Sydney, challenge yourself and others by registering for Tunick’s The Base. The human body is a work of art and all that shit.

Oh, and I forgot to mention; I find it easy to be naked because I’m really buff and I have a massive penis.