This week, the dynamic duo was in their secret headquarters in the Fletcher Jones Silver Ball, where The Colonel was working hard on his abs, lats and gluts, while The Doctor read the newspaper.

"Wow," The Doctor said, momentarily looking up from his paper. "Everyone's going nuts over this planking thing."

The Colonel stopped midway through a set of tricep dips. "That's horrendous, Doctor. Walking the plank is a barbaric act. I know pirates are becoming an increasing problem, but surely keel-hauling is a much more humane form of punishment...."

"That's not planking, Colonel. Planking is...."

The Colonel butted in before The Doctor could finish. "Oh, planking must be that thing where you beat someone over the head with a plank?"

"No, it's...."

"Is it the act of fishing for plankton?" The Colonel interrupted again.

"No, it's...."

"Is it what teenage boys do in their rooms with Target catalogues?"

"No, Colonel. It's a new internet fad."

The Colonel scoffed. "Don't be silly, Doctor - the internet's not new. It's been around for at least three years."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Planking is a new craze that's all over Facebook, Colonel. It began a while ago as Extreme Lying Down and involves people taking photos of themselves lying down in extreme places."

"I don't get it."

"Well, it's supposed to be funny. There's photos of people lying down on cars and fences and tables. It's all just a big joke."

"I don't get it."

"Well, it's gone viral on the internet and thousands of people are getting into it."

"I don't get it," The Colonel repeated. "Are people getting paid to do this? Do they have judges? Is it ratified as an official Olympic sport? Do you need any special equipment? Is it like Duke Of Ed?"

"It's just an internet meme."

"I don't get it."

The Doctor was growing frustrated. "It's a fad, Colonel - a stupid fad. Just ignore it and it will go away... like pet rocks."

The Colonel's eyes lit up. "Oh, a fad. Like hula-hoops and Tamagotchis and Pop-Balls and reading books and Communism and foot-binding and mobile phones. That's great - I love fads. I'm all for planking. I'm going to become the plankiest planker you ever planked."