This week, the dynamic duo were in their secret headquarters in the Fletcher Jones Silver Ball, where The Colonel had called a meeting.

"Thank you for joining me, Doctor," The Colonel said. "We've got something very important to discuss this week."

"You're right, Colonel - this weekend's election is very important as it will shape our region's future."

"The election?" The Colonel said. "Who cares about that? I've had it up to here with the election. It's more boring than me watching someone else watch paint dry. I don't wanna talk politics - I wanna talk poltergeists."

"I realise this is the most boring national vote since the final season of Australian Idol, but it's still pretty important," The Doctor said. "The seat of Wannon could become a marginal seat, which will mean the government will have to pay more attention to the south-west."

"Blah blah blah, you're boring me, Doctor. I don't wanna talk about elections - I wanna talk about apparitions."

"What the hell are you on about?" The Doctor asked.

"Ghosts, Doctor. The Cape Otway lighthouse is full of them, and everyone knows that ghosts are evil and must be stopped... or possibly busted. There's just no room left in this densely populated country for ghosts. They come here on their luxurious boats, sailing across the astral plane and then expect to just live in our lighthouses. They take our jobs and scare our children... won't somebody think of the children? If we allow ghosts to just waltz into our country, then before we know it, we'll have 60-foot-tall marshmellow men suicide bombing our iconic buildings."

"Ghostly boat people is a non-issue, Colonel," The Doctor said.

"No, it's not, Doctor. Don't come crying to me when you get slimed."

The Doctor sighed. "This is a waste of a meeting, Colonel. There are real issues - big political issues - out there at the moment affecting the south-west. Like the ludicrous suggestion that the Fletcher Jones building should be turned into a processing centre for illegal aliens."