This week, the dynamic duo are on the beach at Port Fairy, taking in the scenery ahead of the weekend's Folk Festival.

The Colonel gestured towards the ocean. "Tell me, Doctor - what do you see?"

The Doctor looked around. "I don't know... sand? Kids playing beach cricket? Hot chicks in bikinis?"

The Colonel shook his head. "No, Doctor. I see waves. But soon they will all be gone."

"What are talking about?"

"I'm talking about this new wave energy plant they're planning to build right here in Moyne Shire. The way I understand it, it's going to suck the waves right out of the ocean, leaving it as flat as Whitney Houston's voice."

"I don't think that's how the technology works, Colonel," The Doctor said.

"Nonsense, Doctor. Everyone knows that for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction - it's Yahoo Serious' theory of relativity. With Moyne Shire's plans to build a wave power plant and wind farms, soon there won't be any waves or wind left. Eventually local surfers will have nothing to do when they're not stoned except make awful roots music, and you won't be able to fly a kite without tapping into the power grid and causing a blackout in 55,000 homes."

The Doctor sighed. "Far be it from me to pull you up on your extensive scientific knowledge, Colonel, but wave and wind energy are sustainable, renewable and infinite power sources."

"An infinite power source?" The Colonel exclaimed. "Why does Moyne Shire need all that power? What are they planning? Are they enriching uranium? Are they beating us in the nuclear arms race? Are they going to invade Warrnambool!"

"No, Colonel...."

"This is serious, Doctor," The Colonel carried on. "If Moyne Shire has unlocked the secret of infinite power and is building some kind of wave-driven Doomsday Device, then we have to get our mad scientists on to doing the same for Warrnambool."

"You may be crazy, but you may be right, Colonel - Warrnambool should be harnessing the power of wind and waves as well."

"That's not going far enough, Doctor - we need more power than the enemy. We need more power than wind and waves alone. We need to harness the untapped power of... dirt."

"That's funny - I could have sworn you just said 'dirt'."

"That's right, Doctor - dirt. It's all around us - we just need to find a way to unlock the secrets of dirt. No one has ever thought to create power by digging stuff out of the earth - I'm a genius! And there must be an almost endless supply. I think I've just hit paydirt."