I READ a photo caption on Facebook last week that said ‘You know you’re a grown up when you move into your first
share house’.
The photo was of a young woman smiling broadly as she stood in the front door of her new home, and I thought to myself, just you wait.
Just you wait until there are no clean dishes left in the cupboard because your housemates couldn’t be bothered washing them.
Just you wait until the garbage bin is overflowing because everyone believes that it’s someone else’s job to empty it, and just you wait until you start having to shower with your shoes on to stave off all manner of foot fungus, because no one feels it necessary to clean the shower.
That smile will soon be wiped off that face of yours, and will turn into a look of pure frustration.
Share house living is something that can only be described as character building — you need to be tough and resilient if you want to survive — but it’s a rite of passage everyone should experience at least once in their life.
When I moved out of home at age 20, I too was like that young woman in the Facebook photo, eager and excited to start a new, independent life.
The apron strings had been cut and I got a taste of something I had never tasted before — freedom. And I took full advantage of it.
I ate bad food, watched even worse TV till the wee hours, and then slept all day.
After a couple of weeks, when the pantry was empty, the washing basket was overflowing, the carpet was dusty and I discovered that you actually had to pay for electricity, water and gas, the novelty began to wear off. I realised just how good I had it at home.
And I soon learnt that living with flatmates reveals a lot about human foibles.
Like the one flatmate who thought we were still living in the 1500s and only washed once a week, even though he worked in a pretty dirty outdoor job.
Then there was the housemate who took personal hygiene to the other end of the scale, washing up to three times a day.
Then there is the one who simply leaves stuff everywhere. Shoes, plates, food wrappers, drink containers, beauty products and reading material litters the house, living permanently wherever they land, whether it be the bathroom, kitchen, loungeroom or the hallway.
My house is often like a minefield, you have to tread carefully for fear of tripping over a wayward shoe and busting an ankle.
Those things I can put up with, but the one thing that never fails to irk me is a dirty kitchen.
A sink overflowing with dishes filled with water, even though an empty dishwasher is less than three steps away, really makes my blood boil. I don’t think it’s too much to be able to cook dinner in my own home without fearing salmonella poisoning.
But despite the quirks that come along with it, share house living can work, if you get the right people and responsibilities are divided up early.
And you also learn things, like you get at least three letters of warning before they cut off your power, and that it is possible to survive on just two-minute noodles.
More importantly you learn to stand on your own two feet and to become independent. You learn to look after yourself and skills that prepare you for everything that is yet to come.
Anne Hollonds, the CEO of Relationships Australia in NSW, says the importance of the share house years shouldn’t be underestimated.
“It’s a unique opportunity to be forced to live in close quarters with people who you have no biological connection or are not in love with,” she said.
“You learn a lot about yourself, to be able to assess other people and pick up cues and having to negotiate between a number of people with different ideas.
“Those are hugely important life skills.”
And some great friendships can develop. Your housemates become your surrogate family. They become an integral part of your life. In fact I now consider two of my former housemates my closest friends. We still talk on nearly a daily basis, holiday together and they have asked me to be best man at their wedding next year.
So I say to the Facebook photo, and anyone else who is about to embark on their first share house experience, good luck, and enjoy it. But for the sake of your housemates, and your health, keep the kitchen clean.
Email a friend