(M) **
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson.
Cast: Matthew Macfadyen, Logan Lerman, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Milla Jovovich, Orlando Bloom, Christoph Waltz.
PAUL W.S. Anderson is an oft-derided filmmaker and for good reason - his back catalogue contains Mortal Kombat, Alien Vs. Predator and a whole pile of Resident Evil films.
Here he takes his video game-to-movie ethos and attempts to anachronistically update The Three Musketeers with a visual style that's part-Matrix, part-steam punk.
While it's a bold notion with some intriguing ideas, the whole thing is a poorly executed mess.
Macfadyen, Stevenson and Evans are the titular swordsmen, giving their all for France until a failed mission sees them earn the displeasure of Cardinal Richelieu (Waltz), who is adviser to the juvenile King Louis XIII (Freddie Fox).
Meanwhile, Richelieu is working on a plan to start a war between France and England in the hope that he can take full control of France. Naturally, it's up to The Three Musketeers, the newcomer D'Artagnan (Lerman) and their trusty servant Planchet (James Corden) to save the day.
Th e film, as with the Musketeers themselves, is at its best when it shuts up and draws swords. The fight choreography is excellent and when Anderson doesn't overdo the slo-mo, the movie comes alive.
But elsewhere the film stumbles, particularly when there's dialogue involved. Strangely, Orlando Bloom fares the best as the campy Duke of Buckingham, as he embraces the ridiculousness and makes for a suitably silly villain.
It's this ridiculousness that is perhaps the biggest sticking point. Anderson's film is sporadically funny, but attempts to ride a line between over-the-top studipity and earnest "all for one" seriousness that is almost impossible to balance. If it had gone all out with the comedy or reigned it in a lot more, maybe the movie's tone would have been more even. Ramping up the absurdity might have also helped overcome the fact that Lerman and Jovovich's American accents stand out like a head in a guillotine.
Although, that still wouldn't have compensated for the poor plotting, dire dialogue, and the criminal wasting of Christoph Waltz's talents.
There are some good ideas here and some sizzling action sequences, but these Musketeers miss their mark.